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How the concept of forgiveness is used to gaslight women

Posted on 18 September 2018

The concept of forgiveness is used to gaslight.

People use the stereotype of an unforgiving woman, as someone who is “bitter and twisted” to erase the truth of women’s experiences and gaslight them.

When women express that they’re upset (and righteously so), people label them “bitter” and the validity of her feelings and experiences are questioned.

She isn’t traumatised because she’s been wronged, she’s just “holding a grudge” and “unable to move on”. The fault lies with her, not the perpetrator because she hasn’t “let it go”.  

They claim she isn’t justifiably angry and hurt, she’s “overreacting”, “irrational”, “crazy” and “too sensitive”. She’s “making something out of nothing”. She’s being “petty” and “creating drama”.

Labelling a woman "bitter", is like calling them “crazy”, it’s just another way to dismiss their feelings and whatever has happened to her as “all in their head”.

Their feelings and experiences are just irrational and paranoid delusions of a “bitter” and “crazy” woman, not the reality how women are mistreated every day.

Men use the status of an unforgiving woman, to avoid accountability for their actions by disregarding whatever women accuse them of, by saying they’re “just bitter”.

No one wants the reputation of being a “bitter” woman, so this manipulates women into keeping silent and the perpetrator remains protected.

I have often felt like the “crazy” one for feeling angry and hurt at how women are mistreated by men.

People implied the issue was with me, one individual, for “holding a grudge” rather than how it’s become the norm for men to treat women in unforgivable ways.

 

 

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